I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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