my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
