i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
