woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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