new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
