I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was like giving head to a cactus.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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