i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
