I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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