I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
