Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
