Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
