Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
