Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.