I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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