it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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