Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
