We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize