SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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