Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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