you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
