Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
