Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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