It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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