Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
