But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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