I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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