did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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