So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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