dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
