I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize