just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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