i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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