I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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