I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
