please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
