So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
