Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
