everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
