Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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