physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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