Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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