we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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