my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
