i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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