just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
