I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
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she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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