Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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