just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you had me at cake vodka
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Terrible idea I love it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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