everyone is single if you try hard enough
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have tasted many bathrooms
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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