She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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