I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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