What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
