it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My liver is preforming stress tests.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
