and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
