We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You left your phone here
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