The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's the barista slut.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
