we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
