i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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