having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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