OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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