Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
