Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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