The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize