I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
